The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
