I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
