Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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