how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Someone signed my nipple.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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