My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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