I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
