so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
