So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
