i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize