Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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