She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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