so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There's always time for handjobs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have fence marks all over my body
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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