i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
