absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
