Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
