how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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