my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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