I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize