And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
