i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
