I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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