Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
