is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
