dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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