you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
