it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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