My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
