she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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