girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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