I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize