I forgot how hot balto sounded
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
