That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
