6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
