Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
