giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
