we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
