She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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