You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i love accidental penises.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
