we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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