those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
