Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
