forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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