sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize