32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
