I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
