Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
