I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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