dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
