she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
