Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
