Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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