I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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