I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
