you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
