Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My hand turned me down
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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