She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
