so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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