we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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