How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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