Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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