Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone signed my nipple.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
