yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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