I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
pray to the hookup gods
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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