Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
