So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
