let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
