so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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