Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
